For me!

I always want to please everyone I love and to be there at their beck and call, but then I realized that yeah ok fine, I do what others want to make them happy but what about for myself. I have this huge problem with telling the people I care for no or doing things for myself. I had this mindset that if so and so can move like that or if so and so has the energy then why can't I. Like I would compare myself to others so much because of wanting to be the best and please everyone until I didn't even trust myself. I would make decisions for my benefit and second guess myself. I always felt like if I wanted to be a certain way I had to act like the person who had what I wanted. Like when it came to friendships or even a lifestyle, but after many lessons, I realized that this thinking is all wrong. I don't know if I adopted this mindset because of how I raised but it was certainly causing me trouble. Living with that mindset I was so uncomfortable because, in all honesty, I wasn't being myself or doing things for myself and I definitely did not put myself first. Many times instead of taking the rest I need I would go hang out and I would always be the friend down for anything. Deep down I wanted to say no or I'll pass but I just didn't, because I thought that's what made me cool lol. I guess not getting the energy reciprocated and getting taking advantage of until enough was enough changed my mindset. Now I will say no, withdraw a yes, and I'm even not afraid to cut off toxic people. It was hard, and it still is because sometimes I still second guess myself at times. Like when I say no, I think like maybe I would've had fun or dang I told them yes I should go, and maybe I should have just stuck it out with them, but the truth is anything I do for myself is more important than anything else, because at the end of the day I'm responsible for how I feel, react, my emotions, and what I'm involved in. I do still enjoy to make others happy when I can, but lately, I've been focusing on making me happy first. I'm not going to run myself into the ground because that's what everyone else is doing, I promised myself that I will treat this life as a marathon. The lesson is that you won't be able to make everyone happy and the best you is when you put yourself first. So just breathe, stay calm, relax, and stay focused.

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