No pain, No glory

Pain 

Pain... it hurts... to the core. 
Pain has changed me. 
Pain has raised me. 
Pain made me who I am. 

Pain... it hurts... to the core. 
When I lie in bed at night it feels like it’s eating me from the inside out
That even if i scream all the pain I have won’t be let out
I tried it all 
I tried to eat it away, sex it away, gossip it away, yoga it away. I’m sure you get the point. Everything but accept it. I thought... I’m too blessed for this pain. It can’t be mine. No! I don’t deserve this. But In fact, it was mine. Actually, it was JUST for me! It was for me to learn how to forgive & to let go. I had to make the pain at home within me. Let it know that it was okay to stay while it needed a home, but when it was time to go, I had that choice. 

I am in pain but, I am alive. For a bigger purpose than my existence. So I thanked the pain. I thanked the person who gave it to me, even if it was self inflicted. I forgave them and I forgave myself. I forgave them for the sleepless nights,  the late night tears, the confusion, the mood swings, the self harm and the agony! It was okay. 

Thank you for everything I saw when I was alone. Thank you for what I realized when I wiped my own tears away. Thank you for what I learned when I overcame the heartache. Thank you for the pain, that ate me from within. It ripped apart my core from which would not have changed, if I did not feel pain! 

But now that I have changed, I am ready to let it go. All of the old. All of the memories. All of the hurt. I am a new person now. With new perspectives and lessons. Ready to find the new pain, ready to be changed. 




I can do all things through christ, who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

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